video entry: amsterdam #3

video entry: amsterdam #2

biking in the rain haikus

biking through puddles

sheets of water spray around

it's worth the wet socks

whipping my face like

dull needles that never leave

stinging for hours

when i finally

feel i'm truly dry again

i must ride once more

the poncho-clad dutch

bright orange flying like capes

are smarter than i

gray february

with months of wet days ahead

i dream for dry times

um, new house?

yah, so yesterday carrie and sean signed a lease on the house that we will all be living in next semester! more info/pictures to come, but basically it's a mile from campus (but walkable) and quite close to the commons and collegetown. for such an extreme fuck up on me and emma's part for not submitting our on-campus forms on time, it worked out quite perfectly!

update shmupdate

AN UPDATE of things I have learned/done/seen since i've been in Amsterdam (officially 3 weeks):

• I love ringing my bike bell at pedestrians in the bike lane. it gives me a false sense of power and any excuse to use my bell is good for me.
• Tonic water tastes like gin to me which lead me to think for an entire night that I had (accidentally) relapsed on a sip of gin.
• Dutch people are much taller than me, in general. I'm used to being one of the 'taller' girls, but no longer!
• Thursday night is (un)officially take out night. 2 weeks ago was 5euro pizza, last week was thai, tomorrow we shall see!
• Tuesday night is (un)officially drag-queen-bingo night at 'The Queen's Head'.
• Van Gogh's paintings are 100x more amazing in real life. just sayin'.
• Daily bike rides to/from school/meetings helps my depression. It only took me 5 years to figure out!
• I have yet to have a major bout of homesickness. Everyone says that it is coming, but I am still waiting!
• I am officially detoxed off of coffee--I will have 1-2 shots of espresso every few days or so, but am no longer drinking 20-30 oz a day. This also means that drinking a cup of coffee at 8:30pm will make me WIDE AWAKE at 2:30am, hence this entry.
• I am pretty sure I am no longer a tourist here, which is one of the most wonderful feelings in the world! My housing permit should be arriving any day in the mail!
• Even though I am (for the most part) quite happy here, I need to remember that I am still an alcoholic, suffer from depression, and cannot 'let up' on self-care just because I am feeling better.
• Had my first fall the other day on my bike. Very minor, but I doubt it will be my last!

Anyways, that is all for now. Tot ziens!

--Rose

lazy blog-writer rose

benton harbor blues

why do i always break my own heart? i keep falling in love with him over and over and purposefully forgetting all the times he's said he doesn't want me. what the fuck is wrong with me???? why do i do this over and over??? i think i have a death wish because i don't know how many more times i can do this. it breaks me a little bit more every time. love is going to make me crumble.