Thursday, April 8, 2010
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Sunday, February 28, 2010
biking through puddles
sheets of water spray around
it's worth the wet socks
whipping my face like
dull needles that never leave
stinging for hours
when i finally
feel i'm truly dry again
i must ride once more
the poncho-clad dutch
bright orange flying like capes
are smarter than i
with months of wet days ahead
i dream for dry times
Sunday, February 21, 2010
yah, so yesterday carrie and sean signed a lease on the house that we will all be living in next semester! more info/pictures to come, but basically it's a mile from campus (but walkable) and quite close to the commons and collegetown. for such an extreme fuck up on me and emma's part for not submitting our on-campus forms on time, it worked out quite perfectly!
Thursday, February 18, 2010
AN UPDATE of things I have learned/done/seen since i've been in Amsterdam (officially 3 weeks):
- I love ringing my bike bell at pedestrians in the bike lane. it gives me a false sense of power and any excuse to use my bell is good for me.
- Tonic water tastes like gin to me which lead me to think for an entire night that I had (accidentally) relapsed on a sip of gin.
- Dutch people are much taller than me, in general. I'm used to being one of the 'taller' girls, but no longer!
- Thursday night is (un)officially take out night. 2 weeks ago was 5euro pizza, last week was thai, tomorrow we shall see!
- Tuesday night is (un)officially drag-queen-bingo night at 'The Queen's Head'.
- Van Gogh's paintings are 100x more amazing in real life. just sayin'.
- Daily bike rides to/from school/meetings helps my depression. It only took me 5 years to figure out!
- I have yet to have a major bout of homesickness. Everyone says that it is coming, but I am still waiting!
- I am officially detoxed off of coffee--I will have 1-2 shots of espresso every few days or so, but am no longer drinking 20-30 oz a day. This also means that drinking a cup of coffee at 8:30pm will make me WIDE AWAKE at 2:30am, hence this entry.
- I am pretty sure I am no longer a tourist here, which is one of the most wonderful feelings in the world! My housing permit should be arriving any day in the mail!
- Even though I am (for the most part) quite happy here, I need to remember that I am still an alcoholic, suffer from depression, and cannot 'let up' on self-care just because I am feeling better.
- Had my first fall the other day on my bike. Very minor, but I doubt it will be my last!
Anyways, that is all for now. Tot ziens!
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Monday, February 8, 2010
why do i always break my own heart? i keep falling in love with him over and over and purposefully forgetting all the times he's said he doesn't want me. what the fuck is wrong with me???? why do i do this over and over??? i think i have a death wish because i don't know how many more times i can do this. it breaks me a little bit more every time. love is going to make me crumble.